Republican Party Has An Open Line Directly To God

Posted: Thursday, July 2, 2009 | Posted by Chico Brisbane | Labels: , , , , ,

It seems that God has had a heavy hand in the recent dealings of the Republican Party. It is after all, God who wants South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford to remain as governor. This of course puts Mr. Sanford in the awkward position of not being able to resign even if he wanted to. I mean, he couldn’t exactly disobey the will of God, could he?

At the same time, Jenny Sanford is being a good Stepford Wife, which is the unspoken role of every republican wife. “Just shut the fuck up and follow the protocol bitch!” Hopefully after her husbands recent revelations about his mistress being his sole mate, Mrs. Sanford will be able to muster up what little dignity and self respect that she has left and kick this womanizing bastard to the curb.

If she stays with this man in a family unit, she can not only expect it to happen again later down the road, she can also expect her own sons to put their wives through the same humiliation that their father put her through. Not just once, but time and time again.

MRS SANFORD: You know what you need to do, so just do it! – Do it as easily as you husband proclaimed his love for another on live television.

On another twisted note, it seems that God has been speaking to another right wing whack job by the name of Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher — aka “Joe the Plumber” — said that he was considering a run for public office. “I’d be up for it,” he said. Excited fans even set up a “Draft Joe the Plumber” site. But in a new interview with WorldNetDaily, Wurzelbacher said that he now isn’t planning to run because God doesn’t want him to:

Asked if he has plans to run for public office, he replied, “I hope not. You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, ‘No.”
He continued, “I believe he’s gotten me on this grassroots movement. If I can encourage leaders to step up, that’s what I would like to do. That’s a heavy role. That’s something I don’t know if I am prepared to do yet.”

But Wurzelbacher said he would keep that door open if God ever calls him to be that leader.
Right now, Wurzelbacher is preparing to participate in the upcoming tea parties.