Joe The Plumber: I know a little about alot of things

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This week got off to a good start with The Daily Shows Jon Stewart getting Bill Kristol to admit that the government can provide quality health care.

The icing on the cake was Keystone Progress getting Joe The Plumber to basically admit that he doesn't know shit from shinola. Or as Joe put it, he knows a little about alot of things, he doesn't know alot about everything.

Joeseph Wurzelbacher aka "Joe The Plumber" was dispatched by the Republican Party to make an appearance in Pennsylvania at a rally against the Employee Free Choice Act.

"I don't know everything about everything brother" Wurzelbacher said:

The representative from Keystone Progress asked Wurzelbacher if he hadn't read the law and didn't know what was in there or what the differences were between the old law and the new law, how could he be here speaking as an expert, to which Joe The plumber replied:

"Drop it brother, drop it! - I didn't say I was an expert."

In between doing his best to avoid answering a quantitave question as posed by Keystone Progress, signing autographs, and answering kindergarten questions by fans who waited for this fucktard to sign whatever they handed him to sign, he mumbled some gibberish sounding more like King of The Hill's nextdoor neighbor, Boomhauer. He said that he wasn't about Republicans or Democrats and that he was tired of party politics.

"I want to leave that at the door and focus on America. I mean these Democrats and Republicans are just getting rich off of our backs." Joe said.

There once was a time when I wished that Barack Obama had never walked down this mans street during the campaign, but not anymore. This guy is the gift that keeps on giving everytime he opens his mouth.

Republican Party Has An Open Line Directly To God

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It seems that God has had a heavy hand in the recent dealings of the Republican Party. It is after all, God who wants South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford to remain as governor. This of course puts Mr. Sanford in the awkward position of not being able to resign even if he wanted to. I mean, he couldn’t exactly disobey the will of God, could he?

At the same time, Jenny Sanford is being a good Stepford Wife, which is the unspoken role of every republican wife. “Just shut the fuck up and follow the protocol bitch!” Hopefully after her husbands recent revelations about his mistress being his sole mate, Mrs. Sanford will be able to muster up what little dignity and self respect that she has left and kick this womanizing bastard to the curb.

If she stays with this man in a family unit, she can not only expect it to happen again later down the road, she can also expect her own sons to put their wives through the same humiliation that their father put her through. Not just once, but time and time again.

MRS SANFORD: You know what you need to do, so just do it! – Do it as easily as you husband proclaimed his love for another on live television.

On another twisted note, it seems that God has been speaking to another right wing whack job by the name of Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher — aka “Joe the Plumber” — said that he was considering a run for public office. “I’d be up for it,” he said. Excited fans even set up a “Draft Joe the Plumber” site. But in a new interview with WorldNetDaily, Wurzelbacher said that he now isn’t planning to run because God doesn’t want him to:

Asked if he has plans to run for public office, he replied, “I hope not. You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, ‘No.”
He continued, “I believe he’s gotten me on this grassroots movement. If I can encourage leaders to step up, that’s what I would like to do. That’s a heavy role. That’s something I don’t know if I am prepared to do yet.”

But Wurzelbacher said he would keep that door open if God ever calls him to be that leader.
Right now, Wurzelbacher is preparing to participate in the upcoming tea parties.

Sarah Palin: Still Defending Her Diarrhea Of The Mouth

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May 20, 2009
By Chico Brisbane
chicobrisbane.blogspot.com

For former President George W. Bush, the war in Iraq was a crusade. Gov. Sarah Palin called it “a task from God. However, in an interview with ABC News last week, the one-time vice presidential candidate tried to explain away her verbage when referring to the bloody war in Iraq as a task from God. In the process, Palin contradicted herself on previous statements that human activity did not cause global warming.

She also defended asking for federal earmarks for Alaska after painting herself as a one-woman crusade against such wasteful spending, and not just as the Executive, but also too, when she was the Mayor of Wasilla. However, after the campaign we learned that she actually lobbied for them then as well. The self-proclaimed caribou hunting, lipstick wearing, snow machine riding, hockey mom seemed as unprepared and poorly spoken as she did during last years campaign.

I’m not counting Palin out just quite yet, but if there has ever been a political figure besides Joe Biden that you can count on to say the wrong thing at the worst time, it’s Sarah Palin. The difference is that the things that Biden says are silly and not well thought-out. Palin’s verbal diarrhea is calculated and routed in her extremist views. A case in point would be here desire to see abortion outlawed including in cases of rape and incest. However, you have to admit that Joseph R. Biden Jr. was dead-balls accurate when he said that Sarah Palin was a “backwards step” for woman. I think that was the point when even the most disenfranchised former Hillary supporter said WTF?

Make no mistake; Sarah Palin was a more formidable opponent than John McCain could have been in two of his lifetimes, yet his greatest misfortune in life besides being a prisoner of war, was picking Sarah Palin as “his” vice presidential running mate. No candidate will ever be successful with this woman at the bottom of the ticket. Palin will rise and fall all on her own as she's done her entire life and it surprises me, knowing what we now know about her, the she would have accepted the co-pilots chair to begin with. That's not how it is in her married life, so it stands to reason that the same would apply in her political life.

Bill Maher: Farewell To Douchebags

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Here's a humorous recap of 2008 and some of the faces that will fade away into the abyss of obscurity.